A New Beginning: Turning Obstacles Into Opportunities This Advent
- Invite Welcome Connect
- 23 hours ago
- 7 min read
As we enter the season of Advent this Sunday, we're reminded that the church year offers us a fresh start—a chance to recommit ourselves to the work of invitation, welcome, and connection. Just as Advent prepares us for the coming of Christ, this liturgical new year invites us to prepare our congregations to receive those who are seeking a spiritual home.
But let's be honest: change is hard. And the ministry of Invite Welcome Connect will have its challenges.
The Sin of Complacency
Perhaps the greatest obstacle facing Episcopal congregations today is complacency. We often think of ourselves as friendly communities when, in reality, we are communities of friends. Walk into any average Sunday morning coffee hour and you'll see people visiting primarily with friends, not the stranger in the room.
"We often think of ourselves as a friendly community when in reality we are a community of friends."
Scripture warns us repeatedly against complacency. Jesus cautions in Matthew's Gospel that those who hear his words but don't act on them are like foolish builders who construct their houses on sand. And in Revelation, we hear those stark words: "So, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I am about to spit you out of my mouth."
C.S. Lewis explored this spiritual danger in The Screwtape Letters, where the demon Screwtape advises his nephew to keep Christians "lukewarm and complacent," noting that "the road to Hell is the gradual one—the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts."
Confronting complacency begins with awareness. The next step is to prayerfully and intentionally examine the essentials of Invite Welcome Connect. With a focus on evangelism, hospitality, and empowering laity for ministry, we challenge the sin of complacency and open our communities to vast opportunities.
When Change Gets Real
One congregation's experience illustrates the gap between theory and practice. Everyone agreed they wanted more young families in church. The truth that they needed to attract a younger generation wasn't lost on anyone. However, once they began to be more intentional about welcoming young families, they ran into their own roadblocks.
The issue? Normal, noisy children.
It got to the point where the vestry considered adding a pledge card to their stewardship materials, asking members to pledge not to turn around and glare at anyone under 18 making noise. While they didn't actually implement this, having the conversation was crucial for moving forward.
"It is not what we say, teach or preach—it is what we do that speaks loudest!"
The Problem of Inaction
Inaction often goes hand-in-hand with complacency. As lay and clergy leaders, do we model what we say, preach, or teach? How many times have we personally invited someone to church? How often have we entered a room and spent time with friends rather than introducing ourselves to strangers?
One priest recently confessed that he had been the obstacle to Invite Welcome Connect taking root in his parish. Years earlier, he'd attended a workshop with parish leaders but never encouraged or helped implement their ideas. He had since repented of his inaction and was determined to change.
For those facing the obstacle of indecision—spinning your wheels, unsure what to do first—the advice is simple: Get started. Make mistakes. Course correct as needed. But you can't change direction if you're still at the starting gate. Take the first steps. Otherwise, you'll be in the same place tomorrow as today, and people who come seeking a taste of the heavenly banquet will leave hungry.
Sacred Cows in the Sanctuary
Beyond complacency and inaction, we face "sacred cows"—traditions within the church that have become sacrosanct, almost idols in themselves. These might include rigid approaches to signage, usher ministry, announcements, or even where coffee hour is held.
One memorable story involves a small Texas congregation that struggled to get people to coffee hour because the parish hall was separated from the nave by a courtyard. When someone suggested holding fellowship in the beautiful courtyard, a staff member objected: "We can't do that because of the bees." At the vestry retreat the next day, a longtime member revealed he'd attended the church his entire life and had never seen a bee on the property.
"Navigating the sacred cows in our churches while implementing Invite Welcome Connect can be particularly challenging, requiring the deft touch of wise clergy and lay leaders."
Sometimes our sacred cows are beloved traditions that simply aren't bearing fruit. One Texas congregation hosted a Labor Day barbecue for fourteen years, attracting up to 500 people. It was a well-known community event with a competitive cook-off. Church information was on every utensil, and they offered tours during the event.
After engaging with Invite Welcome Connect materials, the leadership made a startling discovery: not a single person had come to church as a result of the barbecue. Upon realizing it wasn't bearing fruit for God's kingdom, the vestry made the hard decision to stop holding the event. They "killed their darling" to focus energy on newer ministries that were actually bringing newcomers into relationship with Jesus.
Who Gets the Invitation?
Perhaps the most challenging obstacle is the unspoken limits we place on our invitation. One senior warden at a small congregation lamented how few people were interested in coming to church, then casually remarked: "The real problem is that there are so few Episcopalians in the neighborhood." This, in one of the most densely populated, multicultural areas in the nation.
Sometimes our invitation comes with caveats:
"We invite everyone...but especially people who can help pay for a new roof"
"We invite everyone...but we especially want parents with young children"
"We invite everyone...but especially those who can appreciate our Anglican choral tradition"
The invitation can get "lost in the mail" when we realize that genuine welcome might transform our worship style, language, food, and music. As a denomination that is predominantly white with deep historical ties to the nation's elite, extending authentic invitations to the growing diversity of our neighborhoods requires us to venture well beyond our comfort zones.
"Let us extend the invitation to those for whom terms like vestry, narthex, and sexton are entirely new, and who may, in the end, transform our way of understanding what it means to be church."
Building Bridges: The Power of Receptors
When social factors intensify separation between a congregation and the surrounding community, direct invitation of individuals rarely results in demographic shifts. People from underrepresented cultures who find their way to a congregation often leave without true inclusion, even if they receive a well-intentioned welcome.
Think of a church as a cell with a permeable membrane. Though we imagine ourselves as open to all, outsiders often experience us as closed systems. Like a cell, a congregation needs receptors—people who already have, or intentionally develop, relationships with outsiders connected to communities with which the congregation hopes to be in relationship.
Most congregations already have potential receptors. Find them by asking:
Who possesses the spiritual gifts of connecting and gathering?
With whom, or with which groups, do members already have relationships?
Which groups of people are present in the area but not in the congregation?
Practical Steps Forward
Based on surveys of churches that have implemented Invite Welcome Connect, here are key lessons:
Keep at it. Don't let one or two obstacles derail your ministry. What works for one church may fail at another. Know your church's personality and adapt accordingly.
Start small. Begin with things that are easy and don't require large investments. Look for early success, then move to items requiring funding.
Build teams. Create a team for each ministry area of Invite Welcome Connect, then empower and equip people to start (or stop) initiatives. The key to success is buy-in from clergy and involvement and commitment of lay leaders.
An Advent Challenge
As we begin this new church year, Benedictine nun Maria Boulding offers us this wisdom: "Obedience to God is a means of freeing us from our own limited expectations."
In the ministry of Invite Welcome Connect, there is a place for everyone—the introvert and extrovert, those comfortable greeting newcomers, those who work in the soup kitchen, and others who enjoy wrestling with difficult scripture in Bible study. We are simply called to be obedient to the God who gives us life, to discern our giftedness, and then to live into the authentic lives to which God calls us.
As communities of faith, we are called to be beacons of light and safe havens of welcome.
This Advent, as we prepare for the coming of Christ, let us also prepare our hearts and our congregations to truly welcome the stranger. Let us have the courage to face our obstacles head-on, knowing that each challenge reveals an opportunity. Let us be bold enough to risk change for the sake of the gospel.
After all, as Paul writes in Ephesians, God "by the power at work within us is able to accomplish abundantly far more than all we can ask or imagine."
A Prayer for the Journey
Gracious God, we pray this day for our eyes and hearts to be opened to the obstacles that are holding us back from ministry. We ask you to take away the sin of complacency in our individual lives and in our communities of faith. We pray for wisdom and courage as we discern and confront the sacred cows in our midst, those inflexible and rigid ways that prevent us from doing creative ministry. We ask for boldness as we imagine, create, and envision the gospel truths of Invite Welcome Connect, turning obstacles into opportunities for the glory of God. Amen.
This article was adapted from the book "Invite Welcome Connect: Stories & Tools to Transform Your Church," by Mary Foster Parmer. Purchase the book at Forward Movement.