Storytelling, Listening, and Welcome: A Conversation on LGBTQ+ Inclusion in the Church
How listening to people's stories transforms congregations into truly welcoming spaces
On September 17, 2026, Invite Welcome Connect hosted a webinar on storytelling and LGBTQ+ inclusion in the church. Four remarkable panelists—Liz Dyer (Real Mama Bears), Sara Cunningham (Free Mom Hugs), John Pfannes (St. Thomas the Apostle Episcopal Church), and Maddy Bishop (Diocese of Kansas)—shared their experiences, insights, and practical guidance for congregations seeking to move from saying they're welcoming to actually living that welcome.
The Power of Listening
At its core, storytelling in the context of church welcome isn't primarily about congregations telling their story. Rather, it's about learning to listen—truly listen—to the stories of LGBTQ+ people and their families who are seeking belonging.
Liz Dyer emphasized that listening requires constant attention. "When you're serving a marginalized group like the LGBTQ+ community, they're constantly evolving," she noted. "I need to make sure that I know what they need." And that knowledge comes from listening—not just intellectually, but from being in close relationship with people, creating spaces where they feel safe enough to be vulnerable.
Sara Cunningham echoed this: "Hearing people's story helped me to see their humanity, and it changed everything within me." She spoke about how listening transformed her understanding of gender identity, sexual orientation, and what it means to support families navigating these journeys.
Beyond the Rainbow Flag: What Real Welcome Looks Like
While visible signs of inclusion—rainbow flags, welcoming language on websites—matter, true welcome goes much deeper.
Maddy Bishop highlighted subtle but powerful signals: name tags with space for people to write their own pronouns. "I've thought about you before you walked in the door," she explained. Such thoughtfulness communicates care that might not otherwise come across.
John Pfannes shared how his congregation made its welcome concrete. Beyond a rainbow-painted bench outside and an "All Are Welcome" banner in the narthex, they created a dedicated LGBT page on their church website. He also emphasized that visibility in decision-making matters: his group grew from five people to 43, and they participate in Pride events and maintain an active ministry within the congregation.
Other practical steps mentioned included:
● Gender-neutral restrooms
● Reframing retreat language from "Men's/Women's retreats" to more inclusive alternatives
● Celebrating "Parent Day" or "Guardian Day" rather than gendered holiday celebrations
● Ensuring staff listings and introductions include pronouns
● Offering LGBTQ+ 101 and ally education events
● Displaying inclusive language in bulletins, websites, and programs
Meeting People Where They Are Hurt
Perhaps the most powerful conversation centered on what happens when someone who's been hurt by the church considers walking through the doors of a congregation again.
Maddy Bishop shared a profound insight: "Grief demands to be felt." When people come with stories of church hurt, they carry grief. As welcomers, we need to become comfortable with grief so we can listen more actively. She also noted the importance of articulating what congregations believe about God's love for LGBTQ+ people—not in a patronizing way, but with authentic, compelling stories about experiencing God's transformative love.
John Pfannes described his initial hesitation: "When I first searched for the Episcopal Church online, I saw they said they were welcoming, but when I got to St. Thomas' website, there was nothing there that told me I was welcome." When he finally met with the rector and attended his first service, he was met with genuine warmth. "Before I could get out the door, probably 20 or 30 people had come up to me," he recalled. "When I told them I had a husband named Robert, they never flinched."
Sara Cunningham highlighted another truth: "The most thing that I heard early in my advocacy is that members of the LGBTQ+ community, young adults to people who came out late in life in their 70s, have lost their sense of belonging." Creating consistent, safe spaces for people to share their stories and find belonging is essential.
She offered a memorable visual: "Pretend like everyone has a post-it note on their face that says, celebrate me. That's it. Let's just celebrate each other."
Getting Started: Practical Steps for Congregations
For congregations asking, "How do we begin?" the panelists offered concrete guidance:
Start with education. John Pfannes described hosting LGBT 101 presentations covering terminology and flag meanings. He also organized a transgender panel featuring parents of transgender children, a transgender individual, the local PFLAG president, and a psychotherapist. "The more we can educate people, the more they understand," he observed.
Create space for allies to ask questions without judgment. Maddy Bishop recommended hosting ally retreats where people can ask questions they've been embarrassed to ask—about terminology, culture changes, and theological matters—before they encounter LGBTQ+ community members.
Build partnerships with local LGBTQ+ centers. Maddy emphasized simply reaching out to your nearest LGBTQ+ center and saying, "We're a church that wants to welcome and love people. What advice do you have for us?" Creating genuine relationships with community partners sends a powerful signal.
Update your website and materials. Your digital presence matters. Include clear, explicit language stating that LGBTQ+ people are welcome. Make it easy to find—families have chosen congregations specifically because of this clarity.
The Courage of Storytelling
When asked how to begin conversations about LGBTQ+ inclusion, Sara Cunningham offered a framework grounded in storytelling:
● Share your personal story in 25 words or less
● Explain how it affected you personally
● Describe what you learned and how you want to give back
She illustrated with her own story: attending a support group for the transgender community for the first time, hearing their stories, realizing how different their lives could be with support and dignity, and responding by hosting a Transgender Valentine's Banquet.
A Word of Hope
As the webinar concluded, each panelist shared what gives them hope:
Sara: "Seeing like-minded people who are working towards a common good for humanity gives me great hope." John: "I feel a full participant…it gives me a lot of hope that there's this inclusive place, inclusive congregation, inclusive church." Liz: "I get so much hope from the LGBTQ+ community. The resiliency, the strength…just listening to their stories." Maddy: "I deeply trust that God is with each of us and that God is leading people, queer folks in particular, to communities that will love them and welcome them."
Mary Foster Parmer, founder of Invite Welcome Connect, reminded the gathering: "The deep truth of welcome is seeing the other. And the important deep truth of connect is the sacred act of listening."
Resources for Your Congregation
The following resources were mentioned throughout the webinar. Whether you're just beginning to think about LGBTQ+ inclusion or looking to deepen your congregation's commitment, these materials offer guidance, community, and inspiration:
DOCUMENTARIES & FILMS
An award-winning documentary featuring stories from Real Mama Bears community members, including Sarah Cunningham and her son Parker. The film follows three compelling narratives and ends on a hopeful note.
An excellent resource for understanding the historical and scriptural basis for LGBTQ+ inclusion, created by advocate Kathy Baldock.
ORGANIZATIONS & SUPPORT NETWORKS
A national organization with local chapters offering in-person meetings, resources, and community for LGBTQ+ people and their families.
Founded by Liz Dyer, this organization has the largest private Facebook group for mothers of LGBTQ+ kids, with 60+ chapters across the US, Australia, Canada, and UK, serving over 100,000 families annually.
Founded by Sara Cunningham, this national nonprofit provides support and advocacy with 45,000+ registered volunteers.
Your Local LGBTQ+ Center
Reach out to your nearest LGBTQ+ center to build relationships and learn from community experts.
BOOKS & THEOLOGICAL RESOURCES
A newer resource (2024) written by James Brownson, a Baptist minister and parent of a nonbinary child, offering scriptural and theological perspectives on gender and sexuality.
A personal memoir from one of our panelists about her journey supporting her gay son.
An important book exploring the intersection of faith and LGBTQ+ identity.
Resources on Clobber Passages
Many churches maintain theological resources addressing the biblical passages most often used against LGBTQ+ inclusion. St. Thomas the Apostle Episcopal Church created a presentation on this topic available on their YouTube channel.
ONLINE RESOURCES
Extensive historical and scriptural work on translation issues affecting LGBTQ+ interpretation.
A resource for LGBTQ+ affirmation and support.
St. Thomas Episcopal Church LGBT Page
Visit their website to see how an Episcopal congregation explicitly communicates its welcome to LGBTQ+ people.
Comprehensive tools, training materials, and resources for congregational transformation on LGBTQ+ inclusion.
Visit for extensive webinars, training materials, and resources for congregational transformation.
Getting Started
If you're ready to move your congregation toward authentic welcome, consider these first steps:
● Watch this webinar recording and discuss it with your leadership team
● Audit your website and materials—what message do they send about LGBTQ+ welcome?
● Reach out to your local LGBTQ+ center and ask how you can partner
● Host an ally education event or discussion group
● Consider joining Invite Welcome Connect as a congregation to access ongoing resources and support
The work of welcome is ongoing. It requires listening, learning, humility, and genuine relationships. But as the panelists made clear, this work literally saves lives. When young people find congregations where they can be fully themselves, where their stories are heard and celebrated, transformation happens. When parents and grandparents find faith communities that affirm their LGBTQ+ loved ones, faith and family come back into alignment. When people wounded by the church find communities willing to listen to their pain without defensiveness, healing begins.
As Sara Cunningham said, "Let's just celebrate each other." That's the invitation. That's the welcome. That's the gospel made visible.
LGBTQ+ Inclusion Resources from Invite Welcome Connect
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